Happily Ever After 35

Sometimes the scenic routes of life give you the best view.

I’m a timelines person. I’m a goal setter. I take extreme joy in crossing things off of the “list”. It’s an innate part of who I am and most of the time it serves me very well. I can count on myself. I know myself. I had this whole list of things that I wanted to accomplish or experience by the time I was 30: buy a house, earn a Master’s Degree, help deliver a baby, get a tattoo…

21 lead to 29 and year after year, I was crossing things off of the list except, “Get Married” and “Become a Mom”. I dated. I fell in love a couple of times. I even met someone who I thought was “the one”. But for one reason or another, things just didn’t work out. I was making progress though. The Frogs got less froggy and were becoming more Princely! I was getting closer. Strengthening my discernment muscle and honing my bullshit meter. 30 became 32 and I stumbled upon my Prince who was hiding in plain sight. An old friend who had become my best friend. We took a leap of faith and began dating. 

Shifting a friendship into a serious relationship is precarious. In theory, it makes sense. They write love songs about it (I need to write about love songs one day). It’s supposed to be the natural progression. Though the absolute risk is, if this doesn’t work out not only have I lost my love, I’ve also lost my best friend. Nothing to take lightly. 

We dated for Five. Long. Years. LOL! This is the first goal of mine, that required dependent involvement of another person. Another whole person with their own timelines, wants, needs, and fears. People, when a couple has been together for a long time, NEVER ask the woman when they are getting married. She has no control over when the proposal comes. If she could propose to herself, she’d been done it after year one. She’s already waaaaay deep in her feelings about it. She’s tryna stay cool and unbothered. But her ass is HOT and BOTHERED! Don’t add to it by interrogating the wrong part of the couplehood. GO ASK HIM!  Hound him. Harass him. Shame his ass! He’s the one holding up the program!

I digress.

Well, 35, 36…

Who knew 37 was a lucky number! Four months after my 37th birthday, I married my best friend. It was a fantastic day that represented both of us equally and love was everywhere! It was worth the wait. He was ready to be married and so was I. Not in the fairy tale way. More so in the, “we’re grown and we’re ready to do life with someone who gets us” way. 

I still have my list of things that I want to experience and accomplish. It’s as much a part of me as having flat feet. The difference now is the timelines. Sometimes the scenic routes give you the best view. An arbitrary year isn’t the best gauge for success. Make the plan, work the plan. Take a detour. It’s ok. 

Buying the house at 40 might be what’s best. Getting your Associate’s Degree at 32, celebrate your perseverance! First and only marriage proposal at 49, get it girl!

Hey, the best thing about getting married later in life, “Until Death Do Us Part” ain’t so far away!

You got this!