Be Thankful Pumpkin!
5 Tips for a Present and Gratitude Filled Turkey Day
It’s OK to Opt-Out
Holidays are meant to be enjoyed! Give yourself some space to really be present and enjoy yourself. If you’re tired and you don’t want to do EVERYTHING this year- DON’T. Just give advanced notice. Especially if you’re the only family member who can make the bomb baked Mac N Cheese. You can’t be the only one who makes the Mac N Cheese and then all of the sudden- you ain’t making the Mac N Cheese. That is NOT OK!!! Otherwise, simplify.
Maybe you only make a few side dishes this year. Maybe, instead of hosting, YOU make the rounds this year! If you need to ease up on the demands of the season this year, IT’s OK.
Do a family service act
Even when we are strugglin’ and survivin’ in this day to day, we are still incredibly blessed. While we are being thankful for our health and family, etc, it’s important to share your blessings with others. This is especially important for our children who are growing up in a society of immediacy, consumption and excess. They need perspective. They need to learn sacrifice and giving to balance out some of their wanting. Doing a family service project is a great way to lead by example. Keep it focused on something that you like to do as a family. You don’t have to do the soup kitchen thing. There are so many options:
Gather clothing and toys for donation
Knit/Crochet/Quilt blankets for a shelter
Create little baskets of toiletries and goodies for folks on the corners
Make cards or collages for kids in a hospital
Talk about politics
I know you think I’m crazy with this one, but hear me out. Our country has become so ridiculously divided that we can’t even agree to disagree. We are always going to have differences of opinion, different perspectives and life experiences. BUT we all have to live in the same states, cities, towns and neighborhoods. Taking the perspective of another is a life skill. It strengthens our humanity. So yes, talk politics at Thanksgiving! Just follow the ground rules:
No personal attacks- who cares about who is Democrat, Republican or Independent. Don’t hurl those labels like insults. Get deeper. Insults are easy
Don’t name names- NO NAMES. Do not refer to the current president, the previous president, politicians in general. That only will continue to divide us
Don’t deflect- “Well when so and so was President, they did it”, is a dumb ass argument. If you are asked a question, answer it. If you are defending a policy, defend it. Don’t hide behind deflection. It’s cowardly.
Stick to the issues- This is where the meat is. What are the issues that affect YOU and the people you care about? What do you think is working or not working?
Talk about solutions- This is how we move forward as a country. The goal of our Union is to be “more perfect”. Not absolutely perfect. It’s run by human beings so it CAN’T be perfect. There will always be room to grow. If we can focus on solutions, we will likely find that we can get closer to the middle and make our country better for everybody!
Visit an elderly family member
This is a big one for me. There are only 2 siblings of my grandmother who are still alive. We call them “The Hens”. It’s super important to go spend time with them. Research shows that senior citizens who have a variety of social interactions live longer than those who are isolated. So we call and we visit-regularly. The stories they tell are amazing and essential to passing on family traditions and history. Again, it’s a big deal for the kids to spend time with their elders, to care for them and get that little piece of candy that Auntie has in her purse. Those memories will last them a lifetime and make them more empathetic little people.
Observe and appreciate
Clearly, I’m always on the go doing something. I’ve worked hard to teach myself how to pause and observe. It helps me take in the wonderfulness of the moment and allows me to take a mental visual and emotional picture that I can hold on to. Whenever there is a family gathering or monumental moment, not only do I take physical pictures, I really do stop and try to imprint that mental picture. At some point, when everyone is together laughing and eating, maybe even arguing… step back and observe. Take in the smells, sights, sounds and feelings. Be with them. Appreciate the moment. Appreciate your family-even the crazy ones!
So there you go!
I will be eating my own bomb ass Mac N Cheese, watching the Macy’s Parade and the dog show. Enjoying every minute of it and hopefully, The Hens will have some German Chocolate cake for me when I go visit them!
